The Moon King

Well, you can all blame Andy, he is the one who asked for the rest of the story about my meeting with the Moon King that I told you about last week. If you missed the first part, I took a boat to the moon and was supposed to meet the Moon King, but I mixed up the days and he was pretty mad.

Okay. Here's the rest of what happened, though. The Moon King is a pretty great guy, but sometimes he just gets into moods! His name is Winford Danthrop Xelrpöd III, and he's got a really killer unibrow. On most people a unibrow looks bad, but for some reason he carries it well. After some prodding by my friends, I decided that I should probably patch things up with the Moon King before he destroyed the earth and all of mankind with it.

I'm just going to start writing and see what happens.

Okay. Today is purely stream of consciousness. But I am going to go back and proofread. Because yesterday I didn't, and I left "the" out of second sentence. (That time I did it on purpose, just to be ironic I guess.) The only reason I'm doing this is because I didn't think of anything to write today. You see, I'm going to give you a sneak peak of how this usually works. I'll be talking to someone, and they'll say something interesting, or I'll be doing something, and I'll think of something interesting. The key word there is "interesting." Unfortunately for you, you don't get interesting today. You get random. But that might be interesting in its own right.

I'm so sorry!

I think I should tell you what I did yesterday, as the whole story has a moral which may be valuable to you in the future. Yesterday I went to the moon. But I did not go to the moon in the normal way most people go to the moon. Instead of taking a rocket ship, I took a flying boat. Yes! A dream ship. Well, the morning started off just as you could imagine. I was at the dream ship loading dock right on time (20 minutes early (if you're early, you're on time; if you're on time, you're late; and if you're late, you're busted (that's what they say in the dream ship business (or at least that's what I've heard!!!)))), but surprise surprise, the dream ship was 45 minutes late! We'd have to make good time, or I'd miss my noon lunch date with the Moon King...what a shame that would be.

Cliches about Birds

Birds of a feather flock together. Bird brained. Don't count your chickens before they're hatchet. Free as a bird. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. The early bird catches the worm. The bird has flown. Bird off the ground. What a rare bird. A bird in a gilded cage. Naked as jaybird. Like a box of birds. Sitting in the catbird seat. That's for the birds. Flit around like a little bird. You couldn't pull a pint, never mind a bird. A wet bird never flies at night. Bird's-eye view. Looks like a black cat with a red bird in its mouth. Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie. It is not only fine feathers that make fine birds. No bird soars too high, if he soars with his own wings. A little bird told me.

Sleeping in is great

On a whim today, I took a bath. My bones were aching, so I decided I was going to take some "me" time. Well, I went all out! Candles, "bath salt," and hot water. But I have to admit. It was pretty much the same as a normal bath. Candles didn't add to the experience in any way shape or form. That was depressing, which is the opposite of the effect I was trying to achieve. I was even more saddened by the fact that the "bath salt" appeared to no effect, either, despite having used more than twice the suggested amount. My mind was racing, "had I been the victim of one of those 'scams' I'm always reading about in my local gazette?"

HERE'S THE FUN SURPRISE! When I had dried off after the bath, I found myself to be delightfully scented. And not in the same way I was scented before I took my bath. I became aware of the fact that I had gained the aroma of peaches, where an aroma of peaches had not previously existed. Isn't that fun?

Anyway, the moral of this story is that candles are worthless, unless you're a Civil War reenactor, or there is some kind of electrical storm that requires you to surf the internet by candle light. But bath salts? Ooooh boy! They're awesome if you want to smell nice. Lesson learned.